CHAPTER 7

          Nikki tensed as Jack answered the call.   

          “Hello?  Yes, this is Jack Meyers.”  There was a long moment of silence while Jack listened, expressionless.  “Are they okay?”  There was another pause.  “Yes.  I understand.  Thank you.”

          Standing, Nikki grabbed for her coat.  “Where are they?” she asked urgently.

          “Your car was found abandoned off I-70 near Timber Creek.  They’re searching the area now.  We have strict orders to stay put,” Jack mentioned as he put his own coat on.  “I’d better go alone.”

          “Like hell,” Nikki stated as she followed him to the door.

          The second they walked outside, frigid wind tore at them.  Snow whipped like pellets of ice against Nikki’s face.  She was thankful Jack was holding onto her because she could hardly see to walk.  The knee deep snow was light and fluffy, but solid ice beneath.  How on earth were they going to drive in this?

          Jack headed them to his truck, or at least in the general direction he last remembered it.  Giant white mounds marked the plots of newly buried vehicles.  It was unbelievable that this was the same lot where they’d sent Hannah off with her grandmother in the sunshine only two hours ago.  He brushed enough snow off the passenger side to let Nikki in.  Working his way through to his side, he started the truck then dug out the brush.  It was fairly useless, but he uncovered the essentials and climbed back in.

          “You really need to stay here, Nikki,” he warned, giving her one last chance to be more intelligent than him. 

          “I can’t.”

          It was all she needed to say.  He knew exactly what she meant.  “Okay.  Let’s try this then.”  Putting the truck into four wheel drive, he eased out onto the road.

          Nikki made sure her seat belt was on tight, though it hardly seemed to matter since they were barely moving.  It seemed to take forever for the truck to dig its way through the deepening drifts.  “Do you know how far it is to Timber Creek?”

          Only taking his eyes off the road for a few seconds, Jack brought up a map on his GPS.  “We’re barely past the city.  We’ve got about eight or ten more miles to go.”

          It was almost an hour before they finally got close enough to see the flashing lights of emergency vehicles.  Jack did his best to pull off the road.  There was no way to tell where the edge was.  There was a guard rail next to the police and rescue vehicles, but the mountainside fell off just before that and Jack didn’t want to take any chances.

          Nikki nearly jumped out her door before Jack caught her and suggested she get out on the driver’s side.  It was a good thing.  As soon as they came around the front of the truck, the snow gave way under them.

          “Take my hand,” Jack shouted to Nikki just before she fell down into the ravine. 

          “Thanks.”  Nikki caught her balance, edging closer to the tree line to the west.  “Where is everyone?”

          “It looks like tracks through there.”  Pointing at a nearly concealed path through the trees, Jack led the way.

          They hiked for several minutes before hearing voices.  Even in the woods, the snow was blowing too hard to see far.

          Nikki and Jack stood back as two officers approached.  Behind them were two paramedics carrying a narrow stretcher.  Only one.  That was the first thing Nikki noticed.  She looked desperately behind them.  Nothing.  When they came close enough, the younger officer stepped over to join them.  Jack stopped to explain who they were, but Nikki pushed past him to the stretcher.

          “Mom?” she called, shocked at her mother’s condition.  Her eyes were open but glassy.  Terrible memories came back to Nikki.  She’d insisted on viewing her dad’s body before it was sent to the mortuary.  The distant stare, the paleness, it was just the same.  Except…  “Mom?” Nikki nearly screamed it this time as she saw a tear run down her mother’s cheek.

          Helen could barely tip her head.  She couldn’t feel anything, but she was sure they’d put a neck brace on her.  Nikki.  She’d heard Nikki’s voice. “Hannah,” she tried to talk, but her voice and lips wouldn’t work.  It was barely a whisper.  “I tried.  Can’t find her.  So s-sorry.”  Tears fell again.  They felt warm.  It was all Helen could feel.  She started shaking again and she heard people speaking urgently to Nikki.  They hurried her up the hill.  Helen wanted to tell them she didn’t matter.  Nothing mattered but Hannah.           

          Just before Nikki turned back to follow the stretcher, she noticed an odd shape in the snow about fifty feet below.  Her car.  It was nearly indistinguishable from the surroundings.  How had they even found it?

          “Nikki,” Jack called to her.  Still in shock and in desperate need of answers, she hiked back up to where the police officer stood. 

          “Where are they taking my mother?”

          “The paramedics are prepared to work on carefully raising her body temperature as they head on to St. Anthony Summit Medical Center in Frisco,” he answered.  “It’s a level three trauma center.  They’ll take good care of her there.”

          “Where is my daughter?”  Nikki felt alarm numb her body.  If her mother looked that bad…

          “The other officer with me is calling for help now to search for your daughter,” he explained. 

          He made it sound so reasonable, like she’d just wandered off in the woods.  “She’s lost out there?” Nikki’s voice rose as she gestured toward the vast snow steeped ravine.  If anything, the blizzard had worsened over the last hour.  Temperatures were dropping into the single digits.  “A five-year-old child can’t survive in this cold.  My mother is three times her size and is suffering from severe hypothermia.”  She was shouting.  “We need to find her.  Now!”

          The impossibility of the situation besieged Nikki.  She started for the car, ignoring the nagging hopelessness which threatened.  They had to find Hannah.  She couldn’t die this way.  Nikki wasn’t ready to let her go yet.   

          Jack caught up and moved ahead to check near the vehicle.  He searched as quickly and thoroughly as he could.  In this deep snow, Hannah could be two feet away and they’d never know it.     

          The young officer joined in the search.  “We found your mother collapsed in the wooded area to the west,” he said motioning.  “It looks like she regained consciousness after the little girl left the scene.”

          “Hannah,” Nikki told him.  “Her name is Hannah.”

          “Hannah,” he said gently, “thank you.”

          “How did you find the car way down here?” Jack questioned him.

          The officer moved deeper into the ravine, sinking nearly up to his waist.  “I’d heard the description of the car over the radio, but wasn’t expecting it to have gone off the road this close to Vail.  The driver must have lost control when the ice and snow first hit.  I never would’ve seen it down here if it wasn’t for, I don’t know, I guess I must have imagined it.”

          “What?” Jack pressed, systematically moving toward the trees as he searched.

          “I thought I saw a man in a dark blue ski jacket,” the officer admitted.  “He was standing right where the car veered off, just before the guard rail.  I pulled over immediately, but when I got out he was gone.  When I looked down here to see where he went, I saw the car.  Maybe I just imagined the man, but I never would’ve found the car if I hadn’t stopped.”

          Jess, Nikki thought with her first spark of hope.  Maybe Jess had found Hannah.  But why would he disappear like that?  The officer was right.  It was probably nothing.  “We need to split up,” she spoke urgently.  “We’re getting nowhere this way.”

          “This is my first week on patrol,” the officer admitted.  “But I know splitting up could be dangerous.  Cell phones don’t work too far into the mountains around here.  If you’re going to help search, you need to stay with me.  At least my radio signal has a wider range.  We can separate a little as long as we can stay within voice range.”

          The three moved their search along the tree line while the officer let his partner know their plan.  “Mr. Meyers, Ms. Kohl, can you hear me?” he shouted after he made the radio call.  They both answered, so he figured he’d better update them.  “Mrs. Kohl is doing better.  She hit her head when the car went off the road.  She figures she was out for about a half hour.  When Mrs. Kohl regained consciousness she realized the little girl…  Hannah,” he corrected himself, “was missing.  That was almost two hours ago.”

          “Are more people coming to help search for Hannah?” Jack asked.  It was getting way past urgent.  They needed more help and they needed it soon.

          “Officer Rolland said they’ve got help on the way.  He’s staying up by the interstate to direct them when they get here.” 

          There was something about the way he said it Nikki didn’t like. “What aren’t you telling us?” she demanded.

          The young man hiked forward, brushing caked snow from his lashes.  “It could be a while,” he admitted.  “There are too many other accidents to take more than a few emergency personnel off the roads.  They’re trying to gather volunteer firefighters from local communities to form a search party, but a lot of them just can’t get out.”

          Nikki gave full rein to her anger, “Officer…”

          “Bowen, Tom Bowen,” he filled in for her.

          She didn’t bother with his name.  “Do you have any children?”

          “Not yet, but my wife just found out she’s expecting.”

          Nikki drove herself to scan and check any bumps in the snow, half afraid one of the hard stiff lumps might be her daughter, frightened all the more when they weren’t.  “Imagine this was your wife and unborn child out here, lost, maybe dying, in this.  What would you do?”

          He didn’t take time to answer.  While the couple called out again and again for their lost daughter, he went back to the radio.  He didn’t bother calling Officer Rolland.  He called straight in to headquarters.  “This is Officer Tom Bowen,” he informed his supervisor when he finally got through to him.  “We need a major search party out here – now!”

          Within minutes after Tom got back on the radio, more officers and search and rescue personnel arrived.  Volunteers and National Guard trucks came next.  Nikki, Jack, and Tom took just enough time off their search toward evening to accept a warm mug of coffee and show the coordinators where they’d already looked.

          Outright refusing to stay at the warming station, Jack and Nikki agreed to at least don better winter gear. 

          Just before they headed out again, Nikki allowed a meaningful look in Jack’s direction.  “It’s getting dark.  Even I can hardly stand this damned cold anymore.” 

          The wind was gusting worse than ever.  “Come on,” he encouraged.  “We’ll check the woods again.  Deeper this time.”

          “We can follow the creek, like Hannah and I did with Jess,” Nikki suggested.

          Not waiting for an escort, Nikki and Jack moved past the command center set up at the edge of the ravine.  Flashlight beacons flickered across the mountainside and through the trees.  The only area they hadn’t covered was deep into the woods.

          An hour passed and still Nikki and Jack kept hiking, searching, beams from their lights cutting through thick pine forests.

          “Hannah!”  Nikki’s throat was sore from calling over and over again.  She couldn’t stop.  Maybe Hannah would hear her if she called one more time.

          With nightfall came total darkness except for the snow dotted distance their flashlights lit up.  Even in heavier coats and ski pants, numbness had long since made moving by rote rather than feel a necessity. 

          Nikki could barely feel her legs now, much less her feet or toes.  She had no idea how she kept her senseless fingers wrapped around her dimming light.  She wondered how much longer it would last.  Surrounded by white, there would soon be no source left to illuminate it.  Gone were the brilliant heavens, gone that fleeting sense of encompassing love.  How could they find Hannah alive?  Nikki was ready to give in to bitter coldness and exhaustion herself.  What was there to live for if Hannah was gone?

          She thought about Jess.  For a scant, fleeting moment she’d almost allowed herself to wonder…  She was ashamed at herself for even coming close to thinking it.  He seemed so sure of himself and everything around him, not like some of the pompous intellectuals she knew, but simply knowledge exemplified, physically and spiritually.  He was only a man, Nikki reminded herself, a nice man who could do some pretty neat tricks.  Hannah had loved him.  Nikki was glad Hannah had the chance to know him before she…

          Tripping over snowy underbrush, Nikki fell to the ground, not sure she cared to get up.  She didn’t care about anything right now, not even her principles.  Nikki bowed her head as much from fatigue as reverence.        God, if you are there, she pleaded silently, help us find her.  Please help us.  As soon as Nikki’s eyes closed, exhaustion overtook her.

          “Nikki, Nikki!” she heard from far away, like a dream.  She felt so tired.  She didn’t want to wake up.  “Nik, open your eyes now, damn it!  Oh God, don’t let me lose her too.”  Nikki wasn’t sure if Jack’s plea was an expression or a prayer, but she opened her eyes.  She couldn’t give up on Hannah.

          “I’m here,” she mumbled.  Her lips were numb and wouldn’t move right.  Jack helped her up then yelled at her.

          “Don’t you dare give up on me!”  His        desperate embrace as he knelt in the snow to lift her took the bite out of his words.  “I love you, Nikki.  I won’t lose both of you tonight.”

          That was enough to jolt her into action.  She couldn’t quit.  She’d do anything, even pray if she had to, to get Hannah back.  Nikki accepted Jack’s aid and climbed to her feet.  “I’m up,” she said, swaying.

          “Don’t even think about doing that again,” he admonished, his arm around her. 

          Nikki gave up on talking and just nodded in acquiescence. 

          They traveled together for several more minutes.  It was hard to even find the creek.  In normal weather, it would have been an easy hour hike.  Jack didn’t bother looking at his watch again.  He knew it had been over two.  It wasn’t looking good.  He just kept hoping that around the next bend or past the next tree they might find something.  Yet he worried now that Nikki wouldn’t make it if they didn’t turn around soon. 

          “Sophie?”

          Startled out of his thoughts, Jack turned to Nikki.  “What?”

          By the time he got the word out, she was running forward, stumbling through the snow.  “Sophie!  It’s Sophie,” she called out, pulling the soaked, frosty pink unicorn out of a snow bank.  “Hannah wouldn’t leave her.  She’s got to be close.”

          With renewed energy, Jack and Nikki started digging through the snow, calling for Hannah all the while.  Then Nikki saw another scrap of pink deep under some low pine branches.  Jack saw it at the same time and beat her there.  Grabbing onto the material, he pulled on it while Nikki dug frantically.

          “Oh my God.  Hannah!” Nikki sobbed as Jack carefully pulled her frail body out of the snow.  Nikki screamed her name over and over, begging for some reaction.  “Check for a pulse,” she directed.  Nikki tried desperately to remember what she knew.  “Just because she’s stiff and blue doesn’t mean she isn’t alive.  We have to warm up her core temperature.  Her heart may be beating as slow as two to three beats per minute.  Check her pulse at her neck, not her wrist.”

          “I don’t feel anything.”  Jack put his face near Hannah’s.  “I don’t think she’s breathing.” 

          Nikki double checked.  “We need to start CPR.  Lay her down on the packed snow. 

          Jack put his coat down first, placing Hannah flat on her back over it.  He watched as Nikki struggled to revive her.  “Let me do this,” Jack insisted, matching Nikki’s rhythm on the compressions while she forced short breaths of air into Hannah’s lungs.

          “We have to warm her,” Nikki said with concern.  “She needs heat to her major arteries.”

          Jack felt the pockets of his coat.  “There are a couple heat packs in here.  He opened them with his teeth and handed them to Nikki.

          She placed one on either side of Hannah’s neck.  “Keep up the CPR,” she instructed Jack, searching her own pockets.  She ripped open two more and put them under Hannah’s coat against her armpits.

          She tried making a call on the portable radio Tom had provided, but got only static.  Reaching for her cell phone, Nikki checked for a signal.  Nothing.  “Anything on yours?” she asked Jack.  He took a moment to check but shook his head. 

          For several minutes they kept it up, working together.  What good was finding Hannah if she still died? Nikki questioned herself.  They couldn’t warm her outside in the storm and trying to transport her under these conditions would be extremely hazardous.

          “Help me save her, please help me save her,” Nikki beseeched aloud this time.

          “I’m trying Nik,” Jack answered, thinking she was talking to him.  “I don’t know what else to do.”

          When Nikki looked up toward Jack, her heart leapt.  “Jess!”

           Jack swiveled around to see Jess standing behind him.  “We found her, but we need help.  Is there anyone else with you?”

          “There’s a rescue team about twenty minutes north of here.”

          “Can you take us to them?” Nikki asked. 

          “There’s a cabin close by.  I’ll take you there then go for help.”

          They followed, Jack carrying Hannah as gently as possible while Nikki did her best to keep up the artificial respiration and chest compressions.  It took only a few minutes to reach the little building, almost concealed by the dense trees around it.         

          Nikki couldn’t believe they’d been this close to shelter and almost missed it.  If only Hannah had found it earlier.  Jess held the door open for them as they entered.  Nikki noticed what felt like a fur rug on the floor by the fireplace.  “Jack, over here,” directed Nikki.  She didn’t miss a beat as he set her down. 

          Jack took over, pressing gently on Hannah’s chest while Nikki continued blowing short, warming breaths into her lungs.  Nikki vaguely noticed between breaths that Jess was starting a fire and lighting candles so they could see.  It wasn’t long before the cabin began to warm.  Nikki carefully stripped any damp clothing off Hannah then removed her own coat, wrapping it around Hannah as much as she could without getting in Jack’s way.   

          Jess stood and walked over to where Hannah’s still form lay.  He gently stroked his fingers through her hair, easing a loose strand away from her beautiful ashen face.

          Nikki could see in his eyes what none of them wanted to contemplate.  “Below 86 degrees,” she explained as much to bolster her own reservations as his, “the human body can go into a state of metabolic hibernation.”  She took time to breathe through Hannah’s pale blue lips.  “The body may look dead, but it isn’t.  There’s no way to know for sure until the person has been warmed completely from the inside out.”  Another breath.  “Even with a core temperature as low as 78 degrees, a person can still be alive with no discernable heart rate.  A toddler in Canada once recovered from a core temperature of 57 degrees.  Her heart was stopped for two hours.”

          Jess rested a hand on Nikki’s shoulder, offering what comfort he could.  “I’ll be back.”

          “Thank you,” she said.  “I know it’s bad out there, but we can’t do this alone.”

          During the time Jess was gone, Jack took more notice of Hannah’s appearance.  As much as he hated to admit it, she was looking worse, not better.  Her skin wasn’t as cold to the touch, but it was lifeless.  Nikki was still giving breaths, though, so he was still pressing.  He wasn’t about to stop unless he was absolutely sure there was no hope.

          Twice while Nikki and Jack waited for help to arrive, they traded positions.  Still, Nikki’s lips felt raw, her lungs burned, and her arms ached.  She wanted to ask Jack if he knew how long it had been since Jess left.  But she didn’t.  She was too tired to think about anything but the job at hand.

          Precious minutes passed before Nikki heard commotion outside the cabin and the door opened.  Officer Bowen was there with a woman and as much medical equipment as they could carry.  Instantly, the woman threw off her bulky parka and went to work, connecting wires to Hannah’s chest and issuing orders for placing her in a proper hypothermic wrap.     

          “Thank you for coming,” Nikki said to them.

          Tom nodded.  “This is Dr. Wittenberg from Denver,” he said in introduction as they worked. 

          The doctor threw Nikki and Jack a smile over her shoulder then proceeded to grill them on everything they had done so far.  All the while she struggled to bring life back into Hannah’s fragile body.  When the portable cardiac monitor came to life it showed no sign of it in Hannah.  A flat line and tone was all it revealed. 

          “Officer Bowen, I’ll need you to charge the defibrillator for me.” Dr. Wittenberg instructed.  She placed a tube in Hannah’s airway and connected it to a battery-operated ventilator.  “Hannah’s core temperature is still very low,” the doctor explained aloud as she worked.  “The ventilator will help with critical core rewarming by administering heated humidified oxygen.”  Tom handed her the portable defibrillator.  “I’m attempting to regain some cardiac function by defibrillating with up to three shocks to Hannah’s heart.  Don’t be alarmed if it shows no results,” she warned.  “Any more attempts need to wait until her core temp rises above 30 degrees Celsius, 86 degrees Fahrenheit.”  

          Despite the warning, Nikki jumped when the first shock arched Hannah’s body.  Jack took Nikki in his arms.  She clung to him, but she couldn’t look away.  It was the first time since they found her that Hannah’s little form had moved.  Nikki tried to hold on to hope, staring at the monitor as if hope alone could make the smooth horizontal line spark to life.

          “Continue CPR please,” the doctor said to Tom.  She pulled a pre-heated IV bag from the large pack they’d carried with them.  It took some time, but she was finally able to get the IV catheter into a vein.  Several times the doctor traded new heat packs for cooling ones.

          Nikki felt so helpless.  It was better when she didn’t have time to think, to notice Hannah’s lack of response.  It was like standing in the middle of a nightmare that wouldn’t dissipate with the light of day.  And worse yet, the storm was still intensifying.  There was no way they could transport Hannah to a real hospital in this.   Why hadn’t she listened to Jess?  She and Hannah could have been snuggled safely in their room right now, listening to the wind and snow beat at their window. 

          Time passed relentlessly with no change in Hannah’s condition despite heroic efforts.  When, an hour later, the doctor attempted yet again to shock some response from Hannah’s motionless heart without success, Nikki couldn’t watch anymore.  “I just need a minute,” she whispered to Jack as she stepped away from his supporting arms.  He seemed so alone standing there, a forsaken citadel, battered and worn.  The tears she had fought all day found their escape as she grabbed her parka and stepped out into the storm. 

          She stood on the porch, sheltered from the worst of the wind.  On their way in she hadn’t even noticed a porch.  She hadn’t noticed much of anything.  There were several inches of snow under her feet, but nothing compared to what she could see of the deep drifts all around the sturdy little cabin. 

          Nikki sat down at the edge of the porch where steps were likely hidden under the snow.  She could feel wetness freezing against her cheeks.  New tears melted narrow tracks then refroze. 

          This was all her fault.  How many lives had she endangered with one poor decision?  Hannah was paying the greatest cost.

          A warm hand rested on her shoulder.  She sensed someone next to her, but she hadn’t heard anyone come through the door.  Gentle fingers tipped her chin up and brushed away the latest round of tears.  Through blurry eyes, she gazed up at a face she hadn’t expected.

          “I didn’t know you came back.”

          Jess’ gaze was compassionate, but penetrating.  “I’ll always be near if you need me.”

          An audible sob escaped Nikki’s crumbling countenance.  “I told Hannah that one time.”  Her face fell to her hands.  “But I wasn’t there.  When she needed me I wasn’t there.”

          “She’s with the Father now,” he said gently.  “Asking countless questions as a matter of fact.  Her spirit is insatiable.”  

          “How can you know?” questioned Nikki.  “How can I believe some part of her essence is still out there somewhere?”

          “Trust, Nikki.”  Jess pushed back a rebellious lock of hair from her ice-encrusted cheek the same way he had Hannah’s earlier.  He stood and offered Nikki his hand.  “The doctor needs to talk to you.  Believe, Nik,” he reminded before stepping away from her out into the storm, “Believe.”